Posted by: Martin | April 25, 2010

Dream Zappers

So, what to do when somebody has already expressed what you are trying to say, but much better?  Well, quote and link:

From The Middle Finger Project:

We’ve all encountered them; they’re the ones jumping up and down to squish, squash and stomp all over your ideas & aspirations, usually accompanied by the likes of, “You’re being unrealistic,” or my personal favorite, “You’ll have to join the real world sometime.”

Big, giant menacing GRRR face.

In the post, I discussed the importance of defending your dreams, despite traditional advice that advocates not sinking to that person’s level, not taking it personally, and recognizing that it’s not you, it’s them.

[…]

To a Dream Zapper, you are actually the offending party.  Even though you aren’t outright attacking a DZ’s dreams, you’re indirectly doing so simply by existing.  The fact that you’re sitting there all inspired and hopeful with your zest for life and your bucketfuls of ambitions is nauseating to them, because it forces them to question their own realities.  And in being forced to question themselves, they may not like the conclusions that are drawn.

And that’s really freaking uncomfortable. (Tissue, anyone?) 

It’s so uncomfortable, as a matter of fact, that our brains have actually adapted and developed a mechanism designed specifically to reduce any unpleasant psychological discomfort that’s experienced.  Know what that’s called?

The fine human art of rationalization.

[…]

if someone has gone through their entire life up to this point believing that the standard American work-life model is the ideal–go to school, go to college, get a job, get a mate, get a house with a yard, get kids, etc.–and then someone comes along and says, “Pshhh!  That’s ludicrous!  You be trippin’, fool.  I’m going to do things this other way, that person’s mind will do everything it can to prove you wrong.  In the name of self-image and personal integrity, they won’t want to believe that.  So instead, they rationalize their own decisions and beliefs in any way they can to avoid that mental discomfort–even if that includes putting you down for yours.


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Responses

  1. Hey, Martin!

    I’m so flattered to have been quoted here–I came to check you out, and am very intrigued with what you’re doing over in Africa. From what I can tell, it seems like a solid plan you’ve got going on–GOOD FOR YOU for having the courage to do something entirely unconventional, and figuring out a way to make it work for you.

    If you’d ever like to chat, shoot me an email! Love connecting with like minded individuals doing big things!

    Cheers,

    Ash
    The Middle Finger Project

  2. Hi Ash! Thanks for the encouragement! And by the way, the posts that best explain what I’m trying to do would be:

    The Current Situation
    https://hotelivory.wordpress.com/2010/02/17/current-situation/

    The Mission/Vision thing
    https://hotelivory.wordpress.com/2010/02/20/the-visionmission-thing/

    Guess I should put a link to these somewhere accessible. Im pretty new to blogging so I’m still figuring things out.

    Connecting with like minded ppl sounds great, so you’ll get an email from me shortly!

    Best, Martin


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